River Currents

Organic Relationship

to develop such joy from a simple notification

it makes me nervous, the sadness you can cure

and i must partake in that instant gratification

for i can’t resist your fun that makes my heart stir

i stir so smoothly, smoothly within my control

aromas like joy, sadness, a bond that i cherish

the moments getting lost i don’t notice it bubble

this mixture ripe with strength to be quite nightmarish

and i failed my job of monitoring its boil

i lost the control in our mundane embroil

not sharing the work, i instead used you like a crutch

im panicked, cleaning, the stove is so bright

“HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN, WHAT THE FUCK”

i yell with no tone of happiness or light

im cleaning, im screaming, im doing everything i can

i want to be good enough, i just want to fix it all man

i want to cook the perfect meal

i want to keep the kitchen clean

i want this place to be joy

i want this place to be fun for you and for me

and i look to you just excited to do it together

but i always fail to realize

there is only so much burning a person can weather

“im sorry i yelled, it was at me more than you”

and after that moment even if I recognize that as true,

my voice was not just a toy, it was a knife too

i look to my hands and they are covered in gore

because this relationship is real, not some silly metaphor

we aren’t cooking stew with water and veggie parts

we are trusting one another to safely cook our hearts

and when you stayed strong and helped clean in the flood

it was me who used my voice to cover the floor in your blood